Counseling News from the Week of April 17, 2026
Explanation: Although I scan the Internet primarily for counseling articles, in the process I run across quotes and interesting facts that I sometimes include in these first two sections. If you’re just interested in the counseling articles, you can skip these first two sections and go directly to the section called Counseling Articles. HV
Interesting Quotes
Nuggets of Wisdom Compiled by Richard Simmons III
“I would desire it be said of me: ‘He lived usefully’ instead of ‘He died rich.’”
Benjamin Franklin
“My hunger is not for success; it is for excellence. When you attain excellence, success naturally follows.”
Coach Mike Krzyzewski
“Character is like a tree and reputation is like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it, the tree is the real thing.”
Abraham Lincoln
“My reading of history convinces me that worst government results from too much government.”
Thomas Jefferson
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.”
Seneca
“If you cannot answer a man’s argument, do not panic. You can always call him names.”
Oscar Wilde
“Economy is one of the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest danger to be feared.”
Thomas Jefferson
“My friends, we have a great deal more to do in this world than go to heaven when we die.”
Dallas Willard
Fascinating Facts
Items from this section moved to next week to leave room for counseling articles.
Counseling Articles
Why Marriage, for So Many, Is Less Appealing Than Ever
There seems to be a significant cultural divide over the issue of marriage. This is from the New York Times so you won’t be able to read it without a subscription. If you didn’t listen to the interview with Laura Trump from last week’s Friday News, I encourage you to do so first. She talks about almost the opposite mindset from this article, where she discusses how she, and an increasing number of Gen Z women are rejecting the feminist thinking of career first, then possibly marriage and children later. She said (and her life attests to this) that it is possible to have marriage, children, God and a career in one’s life, and that many women who embraced the feminist credo of career first found that women’s biology and the possibility of marriage and children later never happened or became physically impossible. She has had a very significant national career but says her most fulfilling identity is “Mom,”) and that women today are learning from the mistakes of the feminist credo from last generation.
This article asserts almost the opposite. Although it spends one sentence talking about the fact that marriage rates have rebounded, the focus is on all the reasons women don’t want to get married. It tells the stories of women who have dated unsuccessfully for years, or those who have lived with boyfriends for years, and then the relationship ended with lots of feelings of unfulfillment afterward.
If you are counseling with young women who are trying to decide what career path to take, it may be helpful to have them interview several women who have chosen both of these paths to help them decide what they would like to do with their lives. (See also the research study that will be included in next week’s Friday mailing that found that the most satisfied women as a group were those married with children, and the least satisfied were single women without children.)
Click here to read the full article
When Loving Teens Isn’t Easy
This article talks about the fact that some teens go through a period of rebellion that makes it very difficult for parents or counselors to love them. He gives some advice to such parents and encourages them that the teen years won’t last forever, but hopefully the relationship can.
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“My Child Was Diagnosed at Age 3 — and Thank God She Was.”
This mother went through many challenges with her young child. She attributes knowing that her child’s behavior was caused by ADHD helped make that process somewhat easier.
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Ready, Set, Snore! How to Set the Stage for Sleep
Some children with ADHD have significant sleep problems, which can make their ADHD symptoms even worse and cause significant additional stress for their parents. This article gives parents several practical suggestions for things to do which may not totally solve the sleep problems but hopefully will make them less intense.
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Marriage Protects Against Cancer, Never Married Suffer Higher Risk
A study of 4 million adults found that there were lower rates of several types of cancer in both men and women in men and women who were married or had been married. Cancer risk was about 70% less for married men than for men who had never been married, and about 85% less for married women than for women who had never married. This held across several factors including age, cancer type, etc.
One possible explanation would be that people who drink less, smoke less and eat better are more likely to get married than those who do not. While this is a possible explanation, I think that a more likely explanation is that marriage and having a partner to share life’s joys and challenges with is the best explanation for these significant differences.
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Moms Are Speaking. Are We Really Listening?
This article talks sensitively about the fact that women are often told that to be anyone, they must shun marriage and family and pursue a career. And those who leave public life to have children often feel shamed and devalued. It is becoming clear that it is equally good for a woman to pursue marriage and children versus a career, and that the two are not mutually exclusive. It is possible for a young woman to pursue both, even though those years with young children are draining.
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Picky Eaters: A Modern American Phenomenon
Until the 1950s children usually ate whatever was served. But in the last 60 years parents have started allowing children to demand special food, requiring the mother to prepare more than one set of foods. This author suggests that, in most situations, women prepare one meal for the whole family: (an exception would be when a parent or child requires a special diet for medical reasons) and allow the child to decide whether they would rather eat or remain hungry.
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The One Thing Every Happy Couple Does at Night
An interesting article with ideas from Relationship Magazine that you may want to discuss with some of your couples who want to improve their marriage.
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Rethinking Autistic Connection
Double Empathy and 5 Autistic Love Languages
This article, in the Psychotherapy Networker, is a bit difficult to understand but I’ll try to give a summary of its basic ideas. I don’t know if I am convinced of his ideas, but I’ll try to present them and you can make up your own mind.
Double empathy refers to the author’s belief that autistic and non-autistic people communicate differently. Autistic persons can understand each other, and non-autistic people can understand each other, but autistic people have difficulty communicating with non-autistic people and vice versa. These communication problems are bidirectional, but only the autistic person gets blamed.
Gary Chapman developed the idea that humans have five love languages: gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. In a similar way, the author postulates that autistic people have five love languages. They are info-dumping, parallel play, support swapping, please crush my soul back into my body, and “I found this cool rock/button/leaf, etc. and thought you would like it.”
Paraphrasing from the article, here is a brief description of each one. Info-dumping refers to inviting an autistic client to share their passions (the things that are of interest to them) and is a great way to support coregulation.
Parallel play refers to coexisting together in the same space, but each person is doing their own thing. Doing “good” therapy does not require that we are actively engaged in process or conversation with clients throughout the entire session.
Support swapping recognizes that each of us have strengths and then things we are not so good at. Support swapping refers to two people giving support to each other in the areas each of them needs.
Please crush my soul back into my body refers to the idea that deep pressure can be calming, soothing, and like an antidote to sympathetic arousal. It can help people to feel more in touch with their body, feel less a sense of being lost in space, and feel safer and more grounded
“I found this cool rock/button/leaf, etc. and thought you would like it.” “Autistic gift giving may be deemed unconventional, but it is no less meaningful or special. To come across something that reminds us of another and to share it is a beautiful expression of love.” An example would be someone who knows someone else who likes something (e.g., rocks) so when he finds a particularly beautiful rock, shares it with his friend.
If you have autistic friends or clients you could share these concepts with them and listen to their responses.
Click here to read the full article
Conversion Therapy Is Now Protected Speech. It’s Also Hate Speech.
I think it is good to listen to those who disagree with us and see whether there are some truths in their arguments. This article is from the Psychiatric News and deplores the recent Supreme Court decision to declare that laws like Colorado’s banning any attempts to provide both sides of the issue regarding sexual orientation or transgenderism is hate speech. I agree that a counselor could speak against anyone considering either of these options in a hateful manner, but I’ve not heard any allegations of professionally-trained counselors doing this in any of the 25 states that allow counselors to talk about both sides of this issue. I think talking with clients struggling with such questions in a sensitive, respectful way is far from “hate speech” and that it would be more harmful to allow them to consider only one side of the issue. I invite you to read her article and then decide whether she has made her case that this is “hate speech.”
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My wife died from cancer. This is what I wish I’d known as her carer
This is from the Telegraph so you probably won’t be able to read it without a subscription, so I’ll summarize it’s major points. Here were Paul Evan’s suggestions:
- 1. The doctors will tell you too much. For example, after extensive tests his wife’s doctor said “You have pancreatic cancer which has spread to your liver. You have three months.” Paul recommends telling doctors what you don’t want to hear, e.g. giving a definite time frame for how much time a person still has to live.
- 2. Be brave enough to call your loved ones. Although it is hard to get started, Paul found that sharing the news with close friends and family was helpful.
- 3. Cover up the front of the cancer booklet. You will probably be sent home from the hospital with several cancer booklets. While they contain helpful information, their fronts are a constant reminder of cancer’s presence. Cover the fronts with decorative paper or something else.
- 4. Look after yourself. This might include counseling sessions or something similar.
- 5. Try to stay hopeful. This might involve becoming involved in new treatment trials, even if they are unsuccessful, by providing hope.
- 6. It (bereavement) seems like the end of the road. It is not. The death of a loved one is traumatic, and a sense of loss remains, but one can eventually find ways to provide a new sense of purpose for one’s life.
- Trump’s Erratic Behavior and Extreme Comments Revive Mental Health Debate
Since this is from the New York Times, you’ll need a subscription to access it, but I can highlight a few key points for you. Trump’s recent comments to return the nation of Iraq back to the Stone Age and his criticisms of the Pope have given ammunition to his critics that he is mentally unbalanced and unfit to remain as President. I think this is a reminder that our social media behavior shapes our influence in positive or negative ways.
Click here to read the full article
The Type of Sitting That Protects Your Brain
Since we as therapists spend much of our time sitting, this title immediately attracted my attention. This research from Sweden is reassuring. It found that replacing passive screen time with mentally stimulating activities like reading or working (counseling would definitely fit that category) may reduce dementia risk.
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Lessons Learned from a father and son After a Bipolar Diagnosis
A worthwhile story, told from the perspectives of a father and son after they eventually learned the son’s correct diagnosis (as with many bipolar patients the son received some incorrect diagnoses first) and how the two of them have learned to live together (the son lives with the father since that diagnosis.
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What to Do About Negative Thinking When Bipolar Makes It Worse
Another useful article using insights from those who suffer from bipolar disorder. Here several people with bipolar disorder share what helps them deal with negative thoughts, which often spiral out of control in people with bipolar disorder.
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Can Claude Become a Child of God? The Massive Moral Issue of the Moral Agency of A.I.
This week the makers of “Claude,” the chatbot developed by Anthropic, convened a group of ministers and philosophers to discuss the question of whether Claude, an increasingly sentient chatbot, could be considered to have moral agency. In my opinion, the April 15, 2026 episode of Albert Mohler’s Briefing offers exceptionally clear insight on this topic. I recommend listening to the first 20 minutes of his discussion to better understand the issue.
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Attachment: How to Save a Water-Logged Phone
If you're like most people, your phone is one of your most essential possessions. And it is very easy for it to fall in water and end up with a waterlogged phone. Suddenly, all of your necessary data is at risk of losing forever. You may want to save this attachment for some future incident.
I hope you have a wonderful week!
Henry Virkler